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Lessons from… a bathtub

September 15, 2008

While fixing up our incredibly attractive, 1970’s bathtub last week, I experienced something that normally just doesn’t happen. I was successful on my first attempt. Not only that, I was successful in short order! Feeling confident, I decided to attack the drain. No, we hadn’t been having problems with it, it was just, well, ugly. And a new “drain” came with the other pieces I had bought. Why let it just sit there?

Reading the directions, it seemed simple enough. Here are the directions, at least as they pertained to me:

1. Insert the handles of your pliers into the existing drain.

2. Insert screwdriver into handles of your pliers to provide some leverage.

3. Twist counter clockwise, and drain should simple unscrew out.

4. When this doesn’t happen, twist harder. Grunt for good measure.

5. As your hands begin to hurt, get gloves, and twist harder.

6. Stare dumbfounded when the drain assembly snaps, leaving a hole in your tub, while the old drain stares at you, still stuck in the tub.

7. Remember that though you are in the bathroom, potty language is still not acceptable.

8. Go buy tools. Even if you don’t need them, buy them. (It’s the same philosophy a woman has with shoes.)

9. Admit to your wife you have no earthly clue what you’re doing. Silently pray as she tries to twist the drain that she can’t get it out. If she is succesful in removing the drain, never do any plumbing ever again. Ever.

10. Go nuts on the drain again.

11. Sweat, sit on the stairs, look for a cat to kick.

12. Return to the drain. Lay holy hands on it. Sprinkle holy water on it (not too much, you have a hole in your tub, you idiot!). Now anoint it heavily with WD40.

13. Walk around, muttering to yourself nonsense about Adam, the curse, and how you wish you could just go back in time an hour (or 4) before you decided to do step 1.

14. Twist the drain, and this time, weep uncontrollably as it slowly starts to budge.

15. Rejoice exceedingly!

 

Yup, it’s a lot of work to realize that for some things, you just need to keep repeating the very thing you are doing. Sure, it seems like it may not be working. Sure, it seems like you are clueless. But you are following the directions, right? Then why stop? Why question? The directions are ALWAYS right (unless they are in French!), so just keep on doing what you have been doing. Not seeing results? It’s only because the time of harvest isn’t here yet! Remember the promise of Galatians 6.9, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

On to the sink!

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